Sunday, December 28, 2008

Sonic Says "Holy Fresh Fruit Smoothie Alan", Have A FREE Shirt!

Sonic Drive-In went the distance and in response to my letter complaining about too much ice and too little strawberry in my Fresh Fruit Smoothies, they sent a cool letter, which being the putz that I am I promptly misplaced. The letter apologized, said sometimes it happens, advised me to NEVER leave unsatisfied, to ask to have the drink remade or re-blended. In addition, they gave me the names of managers at Sonic Drive-Ins along the route of my road trip! Best of all they sent a FREE XL Sonic knit sport shirt, not just a tee. It's nice and heavy, well made, with the Sonic logo proudly, yet discreetly embroidered on the back just below the neck. Cool!

Neat logo, hmmm? Well placed, very professional. Well, they already were my favorite place to get a burger, hot dog, or smoothie. Click on the logo or here to visit the Sonic website.

Here's the original letter if you want to read it. Click on it for a better view.

I am planning to give away as prizes both of the shirts I have received and also any other cool stuff that might come in. I think maybe your choice of prize for the first 25 followers, and then at 50. What do you think?


OomBa Mail

Colgate Toothpaste. What's With The Drug Data And Poison Control Information On The Box?

It's true, check the back of your box of toothpaste and see the drug and health warnings. Seriously, if you and I were trying to get a product on the market that required these warnings, a product designed to go into the mouth, I shudder to think of how quickly we would be shut down.
So, Colgate, let's see what the answer is to my hard-hitting questions. (I hope my little diversion into asking if toothpaste could ever be used as a murder weapon doesn't get them too... frothy!)
As always, click on the letter for a better view.

Hollister Clothing Stores. Ever Try To Find A Store That Doesn't Have A Sign?

I am sure it is just me, and I am getting old. I cannot bring myself to think of rap as music, or as poetic, even if it occasionally rhymes. I don't spend my days ignoring the friends around me to text message the ones who are not. I have no My Space page. So maybe it is the younger thing today to love shopping at a store that has absolutely no signage.
That's right, Hollister Stores has no sign, and in the letter below you will see that while that may fly well with the set that considers the mall a second home, my elderly mother might just disagree. As always, click on the letter for a better view.


OomBa Mail

Lever 2000. Oh Yeah? Can You Tell Me All 2,000 Parts You Clean?

Lever 2000 is a very good product. Just so happens that I won a year's supply a few years back, and have been a faithful user ever since. But I have gone to bet for all of you to get a final answer to a question that has haunted me, other people, and probably you for years. Exactly which 2,000 body parts does Lever 2000 clean?

Seriously folks, are there even 2,000 body parts? Not counting inside the body as I am sure you rarely scrub your kidneys clean. Read the letter below and know that as soon as I have the official list I will publish it for you all right here on OomBa Mail, free of charge!


OomBa Mail

Crotchety, Real Complaining Letter To Target. I Just Don't Like Target.

I know, I know, you love Target, and they have such neat stuff and it's kind of like Wal-Mart with a little style and you really wish I were with you so you could work in calling it Tar-jet, like some French word or something. Too bad. They screwed me on their return policy and I have not set foot in a Target since! So, please 'enjoy' the letter I sent them. As always, click on the image for a much better view. And remember, shop elsewhere!

Though it will be funny if they try and send me a t-shirt to make up.


Monday, December 8, 2008

Win An Oxymoron- A Nudist Colony T-Shirt!

That's right, just join the followers of OomBa Mail and you are in the running. The first 100 followers of the blog will all go into the drawing and the winner will receive one XL, but fits like a large Bluebonnet Nudist Park T-Shirt- FREE!!! Join today!

Wednesday, December 3, 2008

Nair Manufacturer Not Interested In Back Hair Removal Idea, It Seems

Church and Dwight, makers of Nair hair removal products, have not as of yet been interested in a great marketing idea I submitted to them. If you visit the Nair website you will see various products for removing an amazing assortment of hair types with one glaring exception.

The company has totally ignored the viability of marketing to the hairy back crowd, one group that experiences more prejudice than any other. I submitted my request as my alter ego Gregor Chakerian, hirsute circus performer, and victim of a near tragic back hair accident. I suggest a new back hair removal product, even giving them the great name- BackLack! Just not interested I guess.

Though they do have a creative side as evidenced by the new ad campaign I spotted. See. even a Hyena's butt rates higher than a hairy backed man.

Read the whole sad tale here by clicking on the letter for a better view.