Sunday, December 28, 2008

Sonic Says "Holy Fresh Fruit Smoothie Alan", Have A FREE Shirt!

Sonic Drive-In went the distance and in response to my letter complaining about too much ice and too little strawberry in my Fresh Fruit Smoothies, they sent a cool letter, which being the putz that I am I promptly misplaced. The letter apologized, said sometimes it happens, advised me to NEVER leave unsatisfied, to ask to have the drink remade or re-blended. In addition, they gave me the names of managers at Sonic Drive-Ins along the route of my road trip! Best of all they sent a FREE XL Sonic knit sport shirt, not just a tee. It's nice and heavy, well made, with the Sonic logo proudly, yet discreetly embroidered on the back just below the neck. Cool!

Neat logo, hmmm? Well placed, very professional. Well, they already were my favorite place to get a burger, hot dog, or smoothie. Click on the logo or here to visit the Sonic website.

Here's the original letter if you want to read it. Click on it for a better view.

I am planning to give away as prizes both of the shirts I have received and also any other cool stuff that might come in. I think maybe your choice of prize for the first 25 followers, and then at 50. What do you think?


OomBa Mail

Colgate Toothpaste. What's With The Drug Data And Poison Control Information On The Box?

It's true, check the back of your box of toothpaste and see the drug and health warnings. Seriously, if you and I were trying to get a product on the market that required these warnings, a product designed to go into the mouth, I shudder to think of how quickly we would be shut down.
So, Colgate, let's see what the answer is to my hard-hitting questions. (I hope my little diversion into asking if toothpaste could ever be used as a murder weapon doesn't get them too... frothy!)
As always, click on the letter for a better view.

Hollister Clothing Stores. Ever Try To Find A Store That Doesn't Have A Sign?

I am sure it is just me, and I am getting old. I cannot bring myself to think of rap as music, or as poetic, even if it occasionally rhymes. I don't spend my days ignoring the friends around me to text message the ones who are not. I have no My Space page. So maybe it is the younger thing today to love shopping at a store that has absolutely no signage.
That's right, Hollister Stores has no sign, and in the letter below you will see that while that may fly well with the set that considers the mall a second home, my elderly mother might just disagree. As always, click on the letter for a better view.


OomBa Mail

Lever 2000. Oh Yeah? Can You Tell Me All 2,000 Parts You Clean?

Lever 2000 is a very good product. Just so happens that I won a year's supply a few years back, and have been a faithful user ever since. But I have gone to bet for all of you to get a final answer to a question that has haunted me, other people, and probably you for years. Exactly which 2,000 body parts does Lever 2000 clean?

Seriously folks, are there even 2,000 body parts? Not counting inside the body as I am sure you rarely scrub your kidneys clean. Read the letter below and know that as soon as I have the official list I will publish it for you all right here on OomBa Mail, free of charge!


OomBa Mail

Crotchety, Real Complaining Letter To Target. I Just Don't Like Target.

I know, I know, you love Target, and they have such neat stuff and it's kind of like Wal-Mart with a little style and you really wish I were with you so you could work in calling it Tar-jet, like some French word or something. Too bad. They screwed me on their return policy and I have not set foot in a Target since! So, please 'enjoy' the letter I sent them. As always, click on the image for a much better view. And remember, shop elsewhere!

Though it will be funny if they try and send me a t-shirt to make up.


Monday, December 8, 2008

Win An Oxymoron- A Nudist Colony T-Shirt!

That's right, just join the followers of OomBa Mail and you are in the running. The first 100 followers of the blog will all go into the drawing and the winner will receive one XL, but fits like a large Bluebonnet Nudist Park T-Shirt- FREE!!! Join today!

Wednesday, December 3, 2008

Nair Manufacturer Not Interested In Back Hair Removal Idea, It Seems

Church and Dwight, makers of Nair hair removal products, have not as of yet been interested in a great marketing idea I submitted to them. If you visit the Nair website you will see various products for removing an amazing assortment of hair types with one glaring exception.

The company has totally ignored the viability of marketing to the hairy back crowd, one group that experiences more prejudice than any other. I submitted my request as my alter ego Gregor Chakerian, hirsute circus performer, and victim of a near tragic back hair accident. I suggest a new back hair removal product, even giving them the great name- BackLack! Just not interested I guess.

Though they do have a creative side as evidenced by the new ad campaign I spotted. See. even a Hyena's butt rates higher than a hairy backed man.

Read the whole sad tale here by clicking on the letter for a better view.

Saturday, November 29, 2008

M and M/Mars Candy Ignores My Great Idea Submission

My letter to the Mars candy company have gone unheeded, my GREAT ideas I suppose either tossed in the trash bin, or the devilish little guys are hard at work stealing my ideas. Sure they look cute in the commercials but look into the total candy dominance of this company and you'll start to wonder if M and M maybe stands for Mafia and Maniacs.

I submitted several ideas to Mars, one being an idea for a LARGE size M and M, maybe 4 inches wide, with a crunchy shell/chocolate interior, kind of like an all day sucker, something to enjoy on a longer term basis. Not as large as this photo, just bigger than normal. This led me to thinking about my dog. Everyone says chocolate will drop a dog like rat poison so I thought- why not make a meat-filled M and M so our four legged friends can enjoy the M and M experience?

It is possible someone already had this idea as I came across the M and M Meat Shops online. I am not sure if they are a butcher with a coincidental name or a Mars outlet selling my creation.

In any case. click on the letter below to read the work of genius that these people have managed to totally ignore.

Sunday, November 23, 2008

My Rocket Powered Swim Fin Idea Submitted To

Perhaps you might enjoy my pursuit of a new invention that would revolutionize swimming, allowing all of us to slide through the water like Michael Phelps. I submitted an idea to, an online scuba and swim store, an idea fro Rocket Powered Swim Fins!

Read the whole story here in the letter. Apparently the folks at do not share my enthusiasm as the letter has gone unanswered.

Saturday, November 15, 2008

Our First OomBa Mail Response- And It Is A Doozie!

So the first letter ever to go out in the OomBa Mailbag was to the Bluebonnet Nudist Resort in Alvord, Texas. I inquired as to how accomadating they would be to a poor gent with a bit of a hairy situation. Read the whole sad tale yourself right here. Click on the letter for a much better view.

Well, a few weeks later a LARGE PRIORITY! package arrived from the resort. How exciting, possibly it was a stack of legal warnings from their lawyers. Nope. Super cool Edy and Bluebonnet sent me a great T-Shirt. For FREE! My daughter examined the package and wondered "They paid $4.60 to send that to YOU?" Well, it is OomBa Mail, right?

The super gracious and welcoming letter inside showed the Bluebonnet Park to be a First Class business, and...

The FREE T-SHirt sure as hell didn't hurt either! Thanks Edy and Bluebonnet for being so kind and fir that, you receive a FREE link on OomBa Mail, for like... forever!

Please leave comments, let your friends know about OomBa Mail, and visit often.
Alan Mizell

Friday, August 15, 2008

Sonic Drive-In. What To Do When Their Smoothie Has More Ice And Less Strawberry.

At the risk of alienating my Texas friends, as Sonic in Texas is right behind the Alamo in beloved icons, lately my fresh fruit smoothies have had larger and larger ice chunks, and smaller and smaller strawberries. So, what to do. Off with a letter of course. As always, click on the letter for a better view.